Let’s talk Well-being!
Today, this week, this month let’s talk Well-being!
I am sure you have read, heard or seen these words before during the past few months. Before going deeper into the topic, I would like us to have a clear and down to earth image of the above mentioned. Well-being is commonly looked upon as having a comfortable, healthy and happy state of body and mind. Something we are all aiming for these days. Also, something very commonly discussed is positiveness and positive thinking. It is important we separate the two concepts. Nowadays, society tends to overly make reference to positive thinking in such a way that it loses its meaning and becomes trivial enough to produce unrealistic expectations from self and others.
When thinking about well-being, it is important that this necessary concept is tailored to our needs and possibilities, to our own way of living. Total and absolute happiness just does not go with all our natures and lifestyles! Aim to create something that matches your own rhythm and way of being. Being comfortable can be: I allow myself that, from time to time, to sit with my sadness; I accept my limits; I understand that not all types of free time are for becoming a better person, but accepting me the way I am it is in itself allowing me to grow as a person.
Being comfortable can mean I accept that I am imperfect as a person and as a parent, and that it is OK, because having the courage of being imperfect is one of the main keys to teaching our children about humanity, compassion and empathy. Being happy does not imply that we are all constantly living a state of joy, but allowing ourselves to be the way we might not be used to, just beautifully and uniquely imperfect .Find below a variety of ways to practice imperfect well-being:)
Keep those brain happy chemicals at reasonable levels. You do not have to be a very sporty person, having 15-20 minutes of moving a bit more than you would normally can be all your body and mind need. You can try classical gym exercises or just have a more alert walk rhythm if you have space to move around your home.Take time for yourself to just do nothing and relax, without feeling guilt. Being at home can give the impression of a constant state of doing not much. Paradoxically, we are striving to do more than usual ,but our sense of feeling useful might be decreasing.
Keep those communication channels open. Communication increases levels of belonging feelings which will help you feel connected to your loved ones. Talk feelings and thoughts. We all need to share and hear ourselves about how we feel and also our thoughts. It might be useful to know that the way we feel is strongly related to the way we think.
Apparently, we are tempted to think more than 80 percent negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are more prone to leading us to having a more problem solving approach than positive thinking is. The rationale behind writing the above is to remind all of us that sometimes it can be useful to be a bit more mindful about our thoughts.They can be a life changer, one of the solutions can be to identify thoughts that are pressing or negative and encourage yourself to have at least one alternative thoughts to each pressing thought.
Having genuine content or happy thoughts brings naturally with it self content and happy feelings as well. Therefore, ideally we would all want to have access to those happy thoughts. The good part is that this is doable, it just takes self -awareness and good practice. So, keep those thoughts and hopes high!Eat regular, healthy meals and exercises.Set realistic and doable tasks and targets according to the environment you find yourself in and remember to reward yourself for small achievements.Priceless and necessary!
Remember to value yourself as a person and as a parent regardless if you achieve set targets. Being valuable has not much to do with being efficient, but it has much to do with being humanly imperfect.
Reach out, you are not alone ,but in a community! We are here to support each other!
If you have read the words above, just allow yourself to internalise anything that might be useful to you and give the information time to just be, as my advice for this week continues to be: just allow yourselves to be imperfect, it is not often we are given this chance!
By Maria Calapod-Tomescu, Psychotherapist
SEN Department Coordinator and Educational psychologist